Dancing with the Dead.

It’s been a weird month. Granted they’re all weird months when you’re terminal, but for whatever reason this one especially so.

Almost every night for a few days now I’ve having really vivid dreams that include people from my past who are dead.  This morning I woke up and it took me a good five minutes to realize who my daughter was or why she was there, as I was laying in bed with a friend who had died years ago from cancer. They’re all like that. Bizarre.

This is now the second week of being on Selinexor. My doctor managed to get me the drug via the compassionate use deal, which is pretty crazy. He said the company was awesome to work with, though, constantly asking what they could do to make it easier, etc., so props to Karyopharm. That’s no bullshit either — I hope this works for obvious reasons but I really appreciate their attempt to keep me around for my daughter for a little longer too. I’m not sure when we do the next MM tests but my fingers are crossed.

Not sure what else to talk about, really. I’ve felt like Hell all week and just been dealing with 1,000 little petty things, stupid things, useless things. Certainly nothing to get into here. I just game, hang with the kiddo and try to stay alive through it all.

Literally.