I’ve been in recovery mode for the past week after being released from the hospital last Sunday. Although I feel like I’m on the upswing now I’m still guarded, unsure entirely who’s talking when I speak.
I’m going to keep this entry more “just the facts, ma’am,” a trend I think I’ll be adopting a bit more here. Until I get the psych meds sorted and am not taking such massive doses of steroids I have a hard time trusting my thought process and the emotional wall springs massive leaks, which lately are driving me cringing from the thought of writing. It just gets too damned dark.
Fun fucking disease.
So, some random facts:
- Round three was like the others, only more so. That’s something that perhaps you just have to experience chemotherapy to get.
- The MRI on my back showed nothing. It still hurts, although it’s not as bad. I can’t bend without pain unless I’m on a pain medication, which I will not take regularly. Tried Fentanyl and OxyCodone and only the Oxy made a dent.
- Had a ton of folks visit which was awesome.
- Talked to my doctor who confirmed that if I handle it well (so far I have) that we could do a fourth round of this prior to another line of treatment.
- Walked into the hospital with C. diff. The antibiotic for that bit of fun is one of the worst tasting liquids I’ve ever had. Four times a day.
That’s really about it. I felt like I was on death’s door after getting out of the hospital and I still have little to no energy, but the physical discomfort has at least mostly passed (except for the back pain). Emotionally I’m a wreck, but then what’s new with that lately? I was hoping to try the swap to the new brain drug this coming week so as not to complicate things with the hospital, so we’ll see how that goes starting tomorrow.